Proud & Queer: Max

Let’s be blatantly clear. Queerness isn’t going anywhere.

With Trump taking back office at the end of January, I am just a single drop in the queer sea of confusion, disdain, and fear. Through this trying time, I wanted to gather my thoughts, process them, and share my story of how I got here and where I plan to go.

Growing up queer in Texas has taught me a multitude of lessons. The simplest one is as follows: Don’t do it.

As a timid and closeted gay kid and the son of a Lutheran principal, I remembering telling myself, you will never come out. And I listened to that voice repeatedly.

In high school, I went through my bisexual phase where I admired the beauty and strength of woman everywhere. So if I liked woman too, I’ll just marry a woman and not have to come out as anything. That lasted for a couple more years until the seal was finally broken for good. I’m gay.

After I admitted it to myself, I began to emerge as my authentic self like a snake shedding its skin or a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. When I finally came out, I was met with nothing but love, support, and acceptance. Others unfortunately have not been so lucky. As much as this should be the standard for queer people, I realize this can easily be the exception.

I remember hearing about Obergefell v. Hodges shortly after I came out. The country is coming up on a decade since gay marriage was legalized in all 50 states. To learn that all the hard work could be reversed is devastating and heartbreaking for so many.

It wasn’t until moving to Seattle that I began to find other queer people, where acceptance isn’t just a right but a privilege. Queer people are more open in self-expression and identity and no amount of bills seeking to eradicate our existence will work in their favor. After living in hiding for so long, my existence is only just starting to take flight.

Acceptance shouldn’t have to be worked for. Although my worries and fears have been muddled, there is still work to be done. There is always work to be done.

To this day, the country is divided on many different ideals and principles which makes it hard to bypass them. Since when is common ground so uncommon?

After getting engaged in October 2024, I had a limited time to enjoy my engagement until the storm set in. With the election right around the corner, I had to mentally prepare for the worst, yet my heart was still praying and longing for the best.

March 2025 marked our one-year anniversary since my fiancé and I moved to Seattle. There are times I still feel like we just moved.

Pride-colored Mickey Mouse Funko POP from Max’s collection

The Evergreen Echo

So why Seattle? At first glance, the choice to move to Seattle was more about leaving Texas than moving to Seattle specifically. Yet we have found support, comradery, and a chosen family here.

Although I am grateful for Texas—as it is where I came to terms with myself and where I met my fiancé—I am also healing from my own internal homophobia and hidden traumas. It wasn’t until I went back to Texas the first time since I moved that I acknowledged that Texas was no longer home for me.

Something so simple as holding hands in public was a foreign act for us. Fearing for our lives and the lives of each other was constant. Both of us are learning to unpack and overcome those internalized traumas and no longer hide our existence and relationship in public.

After the elections results were finally announced, I felt my world unraveling. I heard my uncles got married at a courthouse. How romantic? Now, they get to have the celebration after the fact due to their fear of not being able to. It was easy to see ourselves in them and feel the pull to follow suit.

Before Trump took office, people asked us what our plans were if Trump regained office. We have been bombarded with people telling us to protect ourselves out of fear that our right to marry would be threatened and stripped away.

It is one thing to go after gay marriage. It is another to succeed in eradicating the fundamental right. Nothing kills romance more than that. Whether or not the Republican party, with Donald Trump at the helm, actively plans on targeting gay marriage, knowing that that is their desire leaves a bad taste in my mouth and a stain on my heart.

What is progress to some is going backwards for others and vice versa. So what is true progress? What is true growth? I still don’t know when division will go away. What I do know is staying silent is no longer an option. Especially when these issues impact myself directly and so many of my loved ones.

I enjoyed celebrating our engagement, but there are many aspects that have tainted the festivities. Now, I am left with lingering feelings of doubt whether a shotgun wedding is in the cards for us.

So how do I choose to fight? I utilize my words, my art, and my creativity. Regardless of any medium, it is important to utilize your given crafts and be able to scream: “I am not going anywhere!” I am still here because of my creativity as it has saved me countless times.

Although I wallow in regret some days, I am now marching toward a brighter and better future for not only myself but all my queer family and friends.

Wishing and hoping is not enough anymore. Letting one’s voice be heard throughout the ether of heteronormativity is a good way to start.

So ride the queer wave or drown in its dismay because it’s not going anywhere.  

Max and his fiancé holding hands on their engagement day.

with permission from Maxwell Meier